November 29th, 2011

Doomed from the start


Judged to be “a player,” from the beginning, she should have known that she couldn’t win. She should have followed her first mind, and just let it be. But she gave the benefit of the doubt… and let herself have fun. And in his mind, it seems he was searching for that “aHA” moment… The moment that wasn’t really any kind of epiphany outside of the confines of his thoughts, and those of his narrow-minded advisers who are unacquainted with her character.


It’s a losing battle–fighting against another person’s insecurities, and what they deem as “proof” of your ill-intentions. If they think you’re a player, you’re a player. If they think you’re stupid, you’re stupid. If they think you’re up to no good, no amount of good that you do or affection that you show will change their mind. If you are growing to adore them, who the hell cares, because they already think you’re a player… Even though the judgment is not accurate outside the walls of their tainted mind…


I learned painful lesson today: Perception IS reality–even if the reality isn’t what the accuser perceives.

Share on Facebook

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | | #



October 30th, 2011

Getting To Know All About You


I met someone. And I think it’s promising. Of course I realize there are no guarantees after only five months of knowing him–the first two of those were spent trading emails after electronic connection on a dating website (oh yes I did), and engaging in a few icebreaker phone conversations, where we traded basic family stories, likes and pet peeves.

It’s now been three months since this texted inquiry:

“I was wondering if we could try and communicate more often. I would like to know more about you.”

And so far… It’s been a blast. Not always a breeze, but a blast.

We’ve disagreed, miscommunicated and clarified, laughed, and created running inside jokes. We have discussed, debated, shared favorite films and ambitions.

We haven’t: cursed each other out, called each other negative names. We just relate to each other. And it’s been nice.

I have no predictions to make. I just want to continue getting to know him better and having a great time.

Share on Facebook

No Comments | In: Dating, Nagivating the Thirties, Relation-Shipping, relation-shopping | tags: , . | #



September 29th, 2011

Life’s Choppy Lake Placid


I am finding the waters of the thirties to be placidly choppy, if there is a such thing. I feel some form of peace because I believe I am at the right place, but I feel the chop and heave-ho of circumstantial waters because my body isn’t cooperating with me right now. One key organ which all people don’t have has the habit of growing lumpy things. Non-cancerous things, but highly annoying, things that hamper my lifestyle and drain my energy. I don’t want them. But the only way to get rid of them is to get rid of the organ that incubates them.

“We run tings. Tings no run we”

It’s a Jamaican proverb I read last week. Sometimes, as I navigate the thirties and think about the challenges to my health and wellness that creep up as I slowly inch on up the aging scale… I am temped to feel helpless as if there’s nothing I can do about my situation. I can’t help but wonder if I run my monsters or are they running me. If I, indeed, ran them totally, I wouldn’t even have them. But I feel like they’re orchestrating what I choose to play in my life’s symphony. They’ve already dictated I won’t have a full orchestra. They are also telling me that I may have to do without the strings. And even if there is room for strings, there’s no guarantee they’ll even be tuned and ready to play.

It doesn’t always feel like I run tings. I feel like these monsters-tings are trying to run me.

And I don’t like it.

Oh, I want the areas of my life to line up for once.
Career, finances, love, but they don’t seem to be in my rundown.

And it’s running me down. But alas, who will listen to these woes?
Which is why I let my fingers do my whining and complaining.

The monsters are hindering my choices.
But they don’t have to hamper my choice to be happy.

I run tings. Tings no run me.
20110928-091013.jpg

Share on Facebook

No Comments | In: General life, Nagivating the Thirties, The Fertile Fibroid, The Road, Uncategorized | | #



September 18th, 2011

Random Photo–Vashawn Mitchell–gospel recording artist


20110917-080325.jpg

Share on Facebook

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | | #



April 6th, 2011

Be here now


This is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received. This wise sage–came in the form of a high school textbook more than 15 years ago. The book focused on developing study skills necessary for college and, from what I recall, the first page of each chapter had a pithy, key piece of advice. “Be here, now” was one of them. The meaning? Wherever you are-BE there not just physically, but be there in full mind–in order to get the full experience. When reviewing for a test, tackling new equations, grappling with a difficult literature text… Be there in full mind and with full energy.


Even though this book was talking specifically about full mental presence during study sessions, the advice can be applied to various situations.


Be there, now–at work.
Be there, now–at play.
Be there, now–at the gym.
Be there, now–in your relationships.


Wherever you are, there you be… So be where you’re at.


Why aim to be there now when tomorrow comes? Because, tomorrow is not now, and tomorrow may never arrive. When tomorrow arrives, you may be at the morgue, in a coffin, under the earth, in a crypt or an urn. While you live, be present.


Remember–it’s find and dandy to seize the day… just mentally present to enjoy it.

Share on Facebook

No Comments | In: Good Times, Uncategorized | | #



« Previous